I am a big strapping celt, big boned, strong, with long lean muscles and a tenacious strength. So why today do I feel so fragile?
I vacillate from a rage almost incendiary in its strength then plunge into a pit of despair, so cloying my chest contracts in agony and there is a vast universe of hopelessness that overwhelms.
I think despair is worse than rage.
At least with rage, you can still feel - it courses along your veins like a toxic river of want, a bubbling caldron of heat that burns like a highway into hell while despair ...despair and that blanket of hopelessness that settles over your face and mouth, cloying, invasive, filling nose and mouth and throat until your lungs labour and contract in agony as you try to take a breath.