Sunday, June 15, 2008

archives...something I don't have.

not having archived is something I regret enormously.

1000SharpPieces ( is smarter- and has archived rather than deleted; oh how I wish I had been as smart! Her pithy, often amusing, often insightful and provocative writings should be available for future readers ...

I am a long-term blogger. I started on EFX seriously blogging and was there for a very long time. Losing the wealth of material I accumulated there was unfortunately beyond my control as the website crashed and burned. I, along with a very large number of prolific writers were largely left bereft - apart from those smart souls that had backed up their material.

Then onto Yahoo - where first I lost a great deal of material first, when my blog was stalked and taken over, and then when I msyelf deleted it in a passionate moment of repudiation .... losing in the process writings I will never be able to duplicate and for which I mourn deeply.

I do not feel at home here on blogger yet and not sure if I ever will. At one point for some length of time I had an erotic story site here on blogger - Selkie's Salacious Scrawls - which languished largely unread despite VERY positive reviews by sites such as Adult Blog Hub. Finally, in a frenzy made up equally of anguish, anger, disgust and despair, I deleted it in its entirety, in the process losing not blogs but creatures of my heart and soul - my stories, gone, never to be read or enjoyed or seen again.

For me, my stories were small beacons of hope in the reality of a grey world; reminders that once I was a writer - that the sum total of selkie was more than cooking, cleaning, labouring at a dead-end job ... they were small little nuggets that I would hold and savour and use to remind myself that I existed outside my usefulness as employee or parent, as an individual who wrote fairly well...

Now they are gone and the spark to write seems to have departed with it.

Certainly, I find my blogging completely uninspiring and do not doubt for an instance that like the whisper of silk, should it disappear it would neither be mourned nor missed. I write at all becuase I yearn to feel that spark, the burning need to put words to paper that I used to feel. I write (albeit infrequently) becuase I keep trying to convince myself that if I force the words, if I vomit forth even the paltry excuse for prose that I do, that somehow, somewhere, somewhen, I will find my soul.

I read Buffalo ( (who denigrates his own considerable talent and should NOT), his ability to charm his readers, invite them for a moment in time into his world, but most of all his incredible gift of being able to truly see the world around him, to find in the day-to-day realities of our lives, the nuggets of wonder that exist but are so often ignored, glossed over and missed by less perceptive individuals and which reminds each of his many readers to stop for a moment and really experience the world around them ...

I read Beth ( and it is like reading a novel you can't put down... intimate glimpses into her life, her thoughts and her emotions together with a formidable writing skill make Beth a fascinating, emotionally intense and superlative storyteller ....

I read elise ( ... with her rich tapestry of imaginative stories, her teasing glimpses, suggestive and intriguing, into her life, her incredibly prolific and provocative prose which enraptures and delights and provides such wonderful rich worlds to explore ...

And there are others I visit regularly and see in their insight and their passion, in their ability to put to "paper" thoughts and weave into the tapestry of this medium a fascinating blend of story and prose, of poetic forays and intimate glimpses ... and I despair ..


Buffalo said...

Thanks for the kind, though undeserved, words.

You should be flogged - or something - for not backing up your work. I have yet to read anything you have written that is less than spectacular. How hard is it to compose in Word and save to disk?

Backed up or not - just don't stop writing.

1000sp said...

I thank you for your kind words. I do not back up and I do not archive as a matter of thumb--as soon as I get my new home in order, 1000 will be either sharply pared down and hidden or deleted.

I have deleted a number of things on purpose. These writings for me are like digital mandalas-they serve a purpose and are fulfilled once they are blown away. Doesn't matter if I am wring about good or bad stuff.

I even burn my paper journals.

I kept a few pieces, if they really mean something or I need to remember the turn of phrase for a future piece.
But even they will have to go, for I am not the same chick I was two years ago.

I often need to express the emotion and release it. In truth, the constancy of change turns me on.

I hope you find your turn on, as well.


selkie said...

Buff - you KNOW that flogging is not a punishment LOL!! and the words are WELL deserved and more! I am going to be more rational about backing up - I truly do regret not having some of the stories I wrote; the blogs, well, there are a few I would have liked to have kept but the stories - I'm sad about that.

That's interseting princess that you don't archive or back up. Have you never regreted deleting something or wished to return to a thought once mused on? I too change as do we all but I guess what I miss is the continuity of history .. the opportunity to go back and look with new eyes on past events ...

Beth said...

Ah, Selkie ~ such heart-felt praise. Thank you. I feel shy, now.

I've journaled since I was very young, nine, I think. I no longer have my journals from my growing up years and that is a thing I mourn to this day.

I learned to blog in a different arena entirely. This, this 'adult' blogging is extraordinarily freeing.

Back-up your writing. Burn it to disc, print it out, whatever you can do.

Princess said...

Selkie, I have lost a number of pieces due to my insistence to delete. But that happens all the time-if I do not write some things down when it comes to writing then poof!!!

That is not ideal for everyone. But I like to forget things. Secret kink of mine! Shhhh...!

I do have some old notebooks of academic things but as this is just my random thoughts, I figure it is nothing to save.

I have been chided. I still am not behaving well.