Thursday, September 18, 2008

'Scuse me while I rant ...

about a few things ... because I feel like it, because this is my space and I can say what I damn well like without caring whether anyone agrees, disagrees, thinks I'm a nut bar, challenges me or whatever .... none of which is likely to happen in view of my rather limited readership!

Read that article and weep.

Female circumcism is alive and thriving ... and in many countries (including the one here, Sierra Leone) - is a reality for 90% of the female population.

Guess what? I don't give a good goddam what your culture is, what your religion is, what you believe or don't believe - female circumcism is WRONG. It is barbaric, misogynistic, horrific and responsible for so many ills that they are almost beyond counting.

What appalled me most in this article was the apparently well educated (primarily in the Western hemisphere) woman who went back and as an adult got circumcised and sings the praises now. BULLSHIT. How SICK is it that to "bond" to your relatives and those of your birth culture, to feel "part" of a community, you have to MUTILATE yourself - put yourself in a situation where you are courting major health risks.

Anyone that needs to destroy her body in order to "fit in" needs some major psychological help as far as I am concerned. We are not talking some minor physical alterations - tattoos, piercings, even branding ... we are talking about cutting away all external female genitalia, SEWING up the vagina and leaving only enough space for urine and minstrel blood to get out (except it usually doesn't work and massive infection is common). There are forms of FMG that requires the woman to be "unsewn" in order to have intercourse!

And they do this to their CHILDREN.

And guess what, I do not BELIEVE that sex lives are "normal" nor that there are no health repercussions or effects - I think people are living in a dream world that assert that. For one thing, how can you KNOW what a normal, healthy sex life IS when you have NO sex organs? And the list of negative health effects from chronic infections to increased incidence of death in childbirth (for mother and child) are documented and incontrovertible.

Which brings me to my second rant.

Orgasm on command.

Guess what, I don't believe it is REAL.

I know, there are a thousand people out there who have experienced it - one touch, his voice (always his, incidentally, why can't female Dominants do the orgasm on command thing?) and boom, the wave hits ... NOT - I don't believe it for a moment.

Show me EMPIRICAL evidence.

One of the positive things which I'm seeing these days is research is being conducted on a whole myriad of issues which affect women - from how drugs affect THEM (it only took what? 50 years for the scientists to figure out that HOW a drug interacts with a 200 lb, 6 foot male is NOT the same as that drug would react in a 125 lb, 5.4" female!!) to increasing research on female sexual response.

I somehow do not think that all the researchers and scientists out there looking for research bucks would ALL somehow overlook the potential goldmine of inciting an orgasm in a woman through simple commands.

I don't believe it and nothing other than hard evidence would convince me!

Its not that I don't believe that the mind is a powerful force, that it can create in each of us some astonishing states of mind. In fact, I've been lucky enough to have several orgasms similar in nature to "wet dreams" (usually associated with males) - in that I would slowly wake from an erotic dream, a powerful one, my body flushed and aroused.... and I'm trembling, on the edge ...and IF I keep still, very very still and keep the thought going, then BOOM the wave will hit and without touching myself I will orgasm ... empirical too - contractions, the whole bit.

BUT, that is because I am (for all intents and purpose) in a suspended, almost meditative state, where in essence I was in an altered state of consciousness.

Now, I've been told that is what happens with "orgasm on command" but as a committed and almost obsessive yoga buff constantly seeking the nirvana of meditation, I KNOW how impossible difficult it is to suspend your thoughts and reach that altered state ...

Creating that kind of state can be done BUT by someone as they say in my litigation department when dealing with a controversial judgment ... done by "someone skilled in the art" ... and picking up a book here and there, reading an article or simply BELIEVING yourself to be such a "powerful" individual that your dulcet tones can themselves induce orgasm is at best, optimistic, at worst, deceptive.

what I DO think is that a LOT of women "say" they can orgasm on command, act convincingly as if they had indeed done so ... and in reality, convinced even themselves that they have orgasmed. But it didn't happen .... I am especialy suspicious of the M/s, D/s ones that say it happens as being a subby myself, I'm well aware of the lengths one can go to in order to please the one you worship....

So, that's my rant for the day - FGM MUST be banned - the world bodies MUST get involved and SCREW the culture and I don't believe in orgasm on command there!


David said...

hello selkie,

I could not agree more with you about female circumcision. It is amazing in this day and age that it is still practiced.

As far as orgasm on command, I share your skepticism and know I was one of the people that mentioned it as a possibility. I have never accomplished that result with anyone but have not given it a full and complete effort, so cannot vouch for it empirically myself.

What kind of evidence would you like to see? As you saw from the comments to my post, several claimed that they have done so, and there was a recent thread on FetLife talks about it with many, many people professing it. If you are interested I can supply the link.

I have thought about writing another post on the subject because everywhere I turn these days people seem to be talking about it, or they always have been and I just stepped into the stream of the conversation. I was intending to just discuss the different aspects of the notion, o-control, o-denial, o-prolonging, o-on-command, etc.

Might you be interested in co-writing or helping write such a post? I am not sure how we might solicit "evidence" of fact, or separate fact from fantasy but I would be willing to explore that possibility.

If you might want to pursue that, you can find my email address in my profile and I would be glad to discuss it with you.

So there!

Buffalo said...

I don't think it possible to provide empirical evidence that "orgasm on command" exists.

Such a command could trigger an orgasm if the woman's arousal was nearing that peak. That certainly doesn't approach being orgasm on command though.

I don't believe it exist.

David said...

And, even if it does exist, at best it might be a cute parlor trick. I am not sure it has a lot of other value. The notion of a girl cumming at the snap of my fingers seems to be anti-climactic (all puns intended). As with most things, the journey is the joy, not arriving at the destination.

Or something like that.

selkie said...

amen to both of you!

empirical evidence IS possible if the study existed - they attach electrodes etc and can measure the contractions, etc - but it's moot, becuase there ARE no studies I'm aware of that prove it!

As I said, I think it all smoke and mirrors - it is a fantasy - which is fine as long as you admit that - what irks me to no end is the people that INSIST that it HAPPENS, honest - take my WORD - here is evidence becuase i'm telling you it happened to ME.

David said...

Attaching electrodes?
Measured contractions?
Now were talkin' so BDSM!!

selkie said... true David! NOW we're talking about something I can believe in!

Anonymous said...

I don't think it exists either. But offering that doubt tends to set one up for extreme attacks from the chosen ones (or chosen millions) who can supposedly go from picking out lettuce in the produce aisle to screaming orgasm on the count of 3.

I'm glad to have what I have during sex. I don't need or want to squirt one out while in line at the bank.

Great post. :-)