Thursday, January 29, 2009

You can't get ketchup chips in America, eh?

They don’t have ketchup chips in America, eh?

I’ve been told by my best friend Sally (about whom I’ve blogged before – for I truly believe EVERYONE should have a “sally”), that our family has weird conversations. That particular comment arose because I was relating D’s permanent scarring of Daughter 2- Rowan. This occurred when cooking dinner one night, Rowan perched on the counter, D. holding onto his coffee as if it contained the elixir of life, we were discussing the castrati ( during the Baroque period. The discussion was lively as we argued the merits of emasculation in terms of creating a better life for you and your family, how it was ostensibly, a good economic decision, the ramifications of the life, what was involved and what the futures held for these divinely voiced boys.

Thinking about it, D., in I am sure a very male moment, grimaced and said the WORDS “When I had my vasectomy”, thus permanently scarring Rowan who collapsed to the floor clutching her ears, screaming “TMI, TMI” –because of course, as her DAD, he had only had sex four times (under duress) to create herself and her siblings, thus there should have been NO need of a vasectomy, particularly in view of our advanced age.

Sally looked at me and said “Yes, we stand around our kitchen when I’m making dinner and discuss things like the castrati in the Baroque period ALL THE TIME”…

Last night I thought of that. D, son Declan, daughters Rowan and Kealin were sitting in the living room discussing Rowan’s experiences at a protest by students of York University (aka GODDAM YORK – as I had JUST finished forking over close to $6,000 in tuition last October and two DAYS later they friggin went on STRIKE – and refused categorically to return said $$$).

Did you KNOW that in Toronto, and for all I know in the rest of Canada – you BOOK a time and an AREA for a PROTEST????

Good rebel child of the 60s and 70s that I am, I am aghast. You BOOK for a protest??? How CANADIAN and polite is THAT?? She was like, yeah, we booked our time, then they assigned an area and we protested. All I could think was How the Mighty have Fallen! What happened to CHAOS? What happened to REBELLION? Where are the hippies gone???

The conversation ranged then from the protests of my youth to the Black Panthers, the Weatherman, touched on the Stockholm Syndrome and Patti Hearst, meandered into whether violence was an acceptable solution, flared into arguments over unions, tripped into a tirade against CUPE (who had tried to incite the students into violence) and then suddenly, Kealin, who had been sitting quietly (we thought) taking this all in …

“Do you know you can’t get ketchup chips in America?”

HUH – we all stopped short and stared at her.

“Yeah – I saw this interview with Jimmy Kimball and Seth Rogan – Seth Rogan was like, you have to IMPORT ketchup chips”.

She nods sagely, appalled at how limited the shopping apparently was in our neighbour to the South.

“Imagine, not being able to get KETCHUP chips”.

D. and I looked at each other and I said considering – “well, they DID push for amnio in view of my being a senior mum… maybe we should have listened…”



littleone said...


oh my god !!! this post made me laugh out !! i too have one that i maybe .. probably.. should have .. had an amnio done on too..

well said !!

morningstar (owned by Warren)

Anonymous said...

Great post! And um...yeah, my husband and I have only had sex 2 times! LOL

Buffalo said...

Hell with all the ketchup stuff. Don't even know what you're talking about when you get into the amino stuff.

I can't get past booking a protest. That's just wrong.

selkie said...

morningstar, glad it made you smile! yes, I bet there is not a mother out there that doesn't have one of THOSE babies LOL

sweet, nods wisely, yeah, figured you only had sex TWICE - grins just wait girl until your kids get bigger! LOL

Buff - amniocentisis is a test they do to see if the fetus is healthy and whole - a big needle is stuck into your pregnant belly and they suck up some amniotic fluid and then test for various things. They wanted one for kealin becuase i as 36 and some initial tests came back questionable.

I said no as there is always a chance of losing the baby and although not planned, she was MY baby, whatever the outcome. and amnio can sometimes cause a spontaneous miscarriage.

PK said...

God, I fell in love with ketchup potato chips when I was staying in Montreal.

I've even purchased some on ebay.

I want some...NOW. Tasty little buggers!


THE Michael said...

And how many Canadians eat grits, I wonder?

Your kid is Soooooo

aphron said...

Is ketchup chips what goes on fat back?

selkie said...

PK, another checkmark for ketchup chips then (I despise them LOL but my kids LOVE them).

Michael- errr, very few I think -

aphron- you eat ENOUGH ketchup chips and indeed, they WILL at least turn into a fat back!

David said...

Enter the dumb, ugly amerikan - - what in the hell are ketchup chips?

selkie said...

see, David, how sad it is that you don't know what ketchup chips are.... they are apparently (I don't LIKE chips - and the thought of ketchup chips, shudders) crisp, fat-laden, nuggests of oven-fried goodness with the flavour of ketchup (catsup to you).

Xavier said...

Not quite sure what you're talking about. There's ketchup chips right on down at the local Mom-an-Pop round the corner from us ..... not that I'd buy them again.

selkie said...

wow! Xavier - you're the first American that has admitted they are available in the States! Depending on whether you find them "delectable" or "disgusting"- that's a bad or good thing!

David said...

This is developing a life of it's own, frught with curiousity, I am going to have to go on a campaign. Funny how this post about children has become about chips.

selkie said...

You're right David .. I'm going to have to muse on (a)out of all my writing (angst and all LOL), ketchup chips are the hands down WINNER and (b) WHY are people SO fascinated with chips? This is hilarious!

selkie said...

grins again ... in hindsight, I have what, 13 comments on this? and my post some time back that was basic porn was IGNORED ... sighs (only kidding).