Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Change

Moments … seconds in time, blink, change, gone, blink, and the reverberations echo, concentric circles of impact radiating out into the blankness of time yet to come. Silence … one thinks of silence between the waves of motion and eddies of want and desire, conscious, unconscious, needful and obsessed. But change is quiet only if your ears are tightly shut against the realities of the battering against your spirit and mind.

I think change is loud. I think it screams and writhes and mumbles and yells but because it is such an intrinsic part of our daily existence, we have learned to tune it out.

Change is, in essence, “white noise”.

Static and life, are after all, mutually exclusive – for even when still, the body itself is constantly in action, lungs breathing, heart beating, the flow if blood through veins, the snapping of synapses in the brain …. QUIET - complete and utter stillness, means of course, death.

Whether embraced or not… looked for or denied, change will happen. It happens in the minute aging of our bodies, the slow release of collagen, the siren call of gravity, the almost imperceptible delay in synapse and reaction … it occurs in how we view the world, in the undulating ever-changing reality of our relationships with friends, family and lovers.

We are, by definition, mutable beings. Whether we choose to or not, change happens to all of us.

Each of us makes our own choice as to how we deal with. There are those who close their eyes tight, who block their ears and cover their mouths and like the three monkeys, Hear No Evil, See No Evil, Speak No Evil …



Once upon a time, this proverb (popularly ascribed to Japanese origin). admonished people to avoid gossip, avoid nosiness… today the popular interpretation is used to describe people who turn a wilful blind eye to things they should deal with.

and thus while one may deny change, while an individual can pretend it is not occurring, the reality of its impact and effect on our lives cannot be either ignored or denied.

We age. Jobs metamorphose, sometimes into responsibilities and demands we don’t recognize. Children grow. And because we are living, mutable beings, our inner motivations, our inner desires and the often insubstantial , unnameable motivations that consciously or unconsciously drive us to make the choices, the decisions, to take the paths and start on the journeys we choose are constantly in flux … constantly moving.

Intangible, ethereal and often tentative, like infants learning to walk, each of us at some point steps forward onto uncertain ground…. ground we’re not sure is firm, ground which reflects back the will-o-wisp of perhaps and maybe and might be.

And sometimes, it takes every ounce of strength, every modicum of desire, and ultimately, faith that we will survive to take that step.
And in the end, it comes down to the reality that change WILL happen and the only comfort we have is that we can CHOOSE the direction in which to step. Whether religious or not, each of ultimately makes the leap to faith … sometimes daily and sometimes knowing that the path ahead is obscure with no guarantees that it leads to a future with hope.

6 comments:

Tallgrass said...

Talk about a timely topic!

I'm headed to my annual physical today. Not only has my body changed during this past year with more aches, problems and challenges.

Also during this past year my job changed, famly has changed, outlook changed and, it goes without saying, my fiancial situation changed.

Do I fear the future? "No."

Do I embrace it? "Not as much as I would like."

Do have a choice? "Nope."

So I smile, make cynical comments and take more Advil.

Amber said...

It is well known to all who know me that I hate change. I deal with it better than I once did but it always fills me with dread. Even good change. As you say, however, life IS change and growth.

(Btw, your word verification is "domnes" heh)

selkie said...

At times in my life, I've been super OPEN to change; my life was a constant state of flux when I was young and I learned early on to go with the flow, to put down roots and sort thigns out. but those whom I love are VERY adverse to change and that in turn made me more cautious.

That itself is changing.

cutesy pah said...

you're a complex woman with a big heart and emotions to match. thank you for willingly sharing yourself with the world at large.

selkie said...

thank you for your kind comments cutsey pah ... welcome to my rants! and I look forward to exploring your thoughts too (I adored your profile synopsis).

cutesy pah said...

selkie,

you're too kind. thank you! I've been following your blog for a while, and finally decided to make my profile public.

There are too few out here expressing viewpoints similar to yours. As I share many of your opinions (on feminism in particular), I thought it time that I come out of the "soapbox closet" myself.

I am now willing to expose the world to my rants that were previously shared only with my family, friends and coworkers.

So I smile brightly as I laughingly say, "Goddess help you all!!!"