Pull up soapbox, brushes it off, then steps up. Clears throat.
OK, so I’ve been doing a bit of surfing (bad selkies surf when work is not busy) and am seeing a trend (again) – rants from female submissives about how HARD their men have it… that FEMINISM has created a situation where they (the women) are forced into the workforce, where the “natural order” – men as big, strong protectors (their words, NOT mine), women as soft, gentle, caretakers and homemakers, no longer have the option to fulfill their “natural” roles.
First, agreed that the stay at home mum/wife is getting scarcer and scarcer out there. But blaming FEMINISM for it? Umm, first, I KNOW there are lots of families out there that have both partners working just to put food on the table. But while I’m out on a limb making assumptions here, I believe that a lot of the ones I see whining about the ‘upset’ in the ‘natural order’ are working… why? Because big BAD feminists decided they had to?
Guess the two cars in the driveway aren’t the reason… or the kids’ swimming/dancing/acting/sports activities … and it wouldn’t be the fact that you feel you NEED and DESERVE 4000 square feet of house? Or the big screen TV? or how about the twice yearly family vacations?
Get the picture?
These are CHOICES people are making.
Our consumerist society dictates individual needs more and more. Cellphones? MUST have? High speed internet – that is a NECESSITY not a desire. Corporate America (speaking generically, big business generally) has successfully convinced a couple of generations now that material goods are not luxuries but necessities, that people are “entitled” to the big house, the big car, the most up-to-date electronics. Coupled with a trend in society GENERALLY that has created generations of individuals who feel they are entitled to go into debt to satisfy their DESIRES (not their needs), that to ‘deprive’ oneself is somehow going to cause emotional and spiritual damage, and welcome to the Great Depression, circa 2009.
And this all somehow the FEMINIST movements fault?
Let’s look at REALITIES HERE.
- The feminist movement has ACTUALLY fought long and hard to ensure that women who go out to work get some level of decent wage – commensurate with their experience and their efforts and NOT based on the fact they have a vagina.
- The feminist movement has (is) working hard to ensure that women – even part-timers (and woman make up most of this segment of the workforce) – are entitled to some form of benefits – you know, ‘frivolous things like dental and health care, vacation time, sick leave.
- The feminist movement has grasped the reality that more than half the female population working are the PRIMARY supporters of their family and as such, deserves the SAME level of respect, wage and benefits as a man.
- The feminist movement has and continues to fight for EQUAL pay for work of EQUAL value – because they figured out a while ago, that being given a smaller pay package and less benefits simply by virtue of being FEMALE is not FAIR?? Not when you’re working the same number of hours at a job that requires a similar level of expertise and education.
- The feminist movement had fought valiantly to give women a CHOICE. To swim in the corporate boardrooms, or to stay at home, to have children or to not have children .. to pursue a higher education or not, if working because you don’t choose to, then I would bet money that it is because of “desires” for consumer goods not because you MUST. And if it is necessity for basics that drives the need to work, then that is not the doing of feminists but a society that puts little value on women’s efforts and the children who are going to come after us.
I do not and never have seen men as dominant simply because they have a penis dangling between their legs. I do not see all women as submissive simply by virtue of possessing a vagina.
The “traditional” role being bleated as the Shangri-la of relationship nirvana is, in my opinion, largely a myth perpetuated by saccharine television programs and magazines bent on selling an image.
The reality is that other than through a short period in the 50s and 60s, women have ALWAYS had to work to support their families. The Victorian era ultimately created and perpetuated the myth of the delicate woman and the manly protector who cherished and took care of them. Oh wait, that was ONLY for a very small group of women… the richer ones…. yeah, oh yeah, just remembered, the VAST majority of women were working 16 hours days in factories, their babies at their feet, toiling dusk to dawn on farms, begging on the streets….Medieval times? no days off, you know .. maids, peasants, farmworkers, fodder for the mills …
Oh, yeah and during the two world wars … women somehow managed to take care of hearth and home AND work in the bomb factories, pick up the slack as the men went to war, cope very well with juggling the myriad tasks needed to run society ….
Of course once the men returned, jobs were needed and women were THEN convinced to go back to their “natural” roles.
- Feminism means that your daughters have more than a fighting chance of having a decent life.
- Feminism means that they don’t get sold off for prostitution at 6 or 7 years of age (as in Thailand).
- Feminism means that they have the same value under the law as your sons (ostensibly- the reality is slightly different but the intent is nonetheless clear). (Unlike in India, Pakistan, most of the Middle East, Asia and most of the Africas).
- Feminism means your daughters are as entitled to an education as your sons – NOT the case in most of the world.
- Feminism means your daughter is entitled to make her own choices and get married- or not – to her choice of partner.
- Feminism means your daughter is entitled to her sexuality and not subject to be mutilated as in many countries (to wit, Somalia one of the worst offenders)
- Feminism means that YOU have more of a chance of getting a decent wage for your hard work.
Feminism means if you CHOOSE, you and your partner CAN decide on lifestyle which suits you – including the ostensible “traditional” ones … and you can live it mainstream (keeping the kinkier aspects private) –
I’m not knocking people choosing to live as alpha male, submissive female. I made choices myself – including giving up a career I worked my ass off to excel in to accommodate my kids and many MANY years of a D/s dynamic – but I don’t for one moment ascribe those CHOICES to d. having a penis and me NOT.
Climbs down of soapbox, puts away until next week.