Ok, I know it’s not Thursday but I’m ranting regardless.
I don’t like the Story of O.
There I’ve said. Has the universe trembled? Has the world staggered in its journey around the sun?
I think Sir Stephen is a LOUSY master and in some ways, characterizes all the WORST characteristics of a bad dominant.
Not only does he not personally oversee a lot of the humiliations that are vested on her (thus placing her in potential danger physically), he is unconcerned and uninvolved with the possible impact on her psyche.
Not to my mind, the personality traits one would seek in someone who is to become the focus of your entire existence.
I won’t even waste my breath on what I think of Rene – wuss that he was.
I could never understand the fascination O had with Sir Stephen, the deep and intense regard she continued to accord him – but it tells me there was something seriously askew about her personality and speaks to me of a frightening lack of perception and insight on her part.
The reality is that while O mistakenly read into Sir Stephen’s prurient and sexually-complicit domination a depth of engagement of thought and emotion that never existed, Sir Stephen was (to my mind) well aware of her fascination and obsession and used it to manipulate and force her into situations that were potentially harmful to her on many levels – physically, mentally and spiritually.
I do not in any way dispute the right of a dominant in a relationship to push, encourage, demand certain concessions and acquiescence from his submissive; in fact, a good dominant is conscious of and active in, pushing limits and creating emotional spaces in which the submissive can expand and grow spiritually, physically and mentally.
But there is (again my opinion only) a commensurate understanding that her wellbeing on every level is always a factor to be seriously considered and taken into account – it is called a “dynamic” for a reason – there is, after all, supposed to be a ‘give and take’ – not just a take, take, take.
It always astonishes me how anyone into kink even on a peripheral level fastens on to the Story of O as the penultimate ‘love story” of the D/s or M/s relationship.
The REALITY is it is anything BUT.
On the one hand, it is more than likely a very good mirror of many relationships I do see out there – relationships wherein one partner is ALWAYS the taker and the other ALWAYS the giver. Relationships where narcissism, self-obsession and selfishness are prominent and a true balance sadly absent.
On the other, the reality is that O is simply a toy to Sir Stephen, one to be used and played with and then discarded with nary a thought – after all there are many other toys out there. And had she sought that type of relationship (for there are individuals who seek that level of objectification and find in it answers the emotional need deep within), then that would be fine. But O did not seek to be a toy but rather a cherished, beloved part of his life.
And in the end, even her request for death (as she finds herself unable to live without him and has been discarded), is treated in a cavalier and dismissive fashion.
So screw you Sir Stephen – you aren’t a dominant, you aren’t a Master – you, like many out there, are simply an abusive, self-centered little boy.
and don’t get me started on Anais Nin ….