Wednesday, November 25, 2009


Faith ..I’ve been musing on it (or the lack thereof) lately. Faith is such a fragile entity, a tender, mutable reality that once shattered, cuts deep.
Faith in a greater being, for instance, once provided what I thought was a bedrock impervious to the movement of earth and time; a solid, real belief that I held to me, warm and solid, in the nights of despair and anguish. Faith was my stalwart companion for a very long time, my right hand, the thing to which I turned not just in times of trouble but during those moments of joyous illumination, a reality that would underline the transcendence of spirit.

There is also faith in self – that vein of self-awareness and introspection that you believe gives you perspective and wisdom. In some ways, the erosion of faith in self is congruent with the loss of faith in that which lies beyond the corporeal reality of our endless days. For only by believing in self and our innate abilities to make reasoned judgments, can we find the courage to believe in something that lies beyond our physical grasp.

There is faith in others also. Faith in our partners (whatever the flavour), in our family, in those we believe care for us, want for us the best. Perhaps because that level of faith is so personal, it is something we can feel, touch, emote and internalize, the erosion of that faith is all the more painful.

Without faith, I find the days lack lustre and depth. There is a greyness to the movement through time that envelops and confuses and licks despair in moments of introspection and awareness.

In hindsight, I very much miss my days of faith; I yearn for the warm comfort, the steadfastness of my devotion, what I thought to be the immutability of my awareness. A world without faith lacks a dimension (at least in my eyes) that brings one beyond the pragmatism of simple existence into a realm that promises something beyond that which can be touched.

The question of course being, how does one regain the ability to believe?


Buffalo said...

A vacuum of loneliness fills the space where faith/trust used to live.

THE Michael said...

That all depends on what it is you seek to believe in again. If it's faith in God, well, that was totally an article of faith to begin with, so it's easy to jump right back on that horse if your skepticysm has not held up. Faith in your partner is much easier, if you are as willing to give them the benefit of the doubt rather than expect the worst. If they are to betray that trust, it will happen whether you have faith or not. I have faith that whatever could happen has happened, and that everything that's going to happen will, regardless of my faith or anybody elses in the process.

Gillette said...


greengirl said...

Selkie - I have strong feelings about this, but I'm not at all sure I can express them adequately. Faith in oneself is the crux of it all - having confidence in the integrity of what you percieve and how you interpret the world, and in the internal processes that assign all the meanings, this is the only connection to the world, to others, even to a higher being, we have available. So if you lose any faith in that, or course it becomes gray and fearful. I don't believe we can go backwards and regain the same faith we remember from before. Whatever caused the shift away from it will still carry sway and can't be wholly supressed. But i do think it can all be re-interpreted, and re-understood in a new and expanded way, a way that returns color and warmth, but with new depth and meaning.

Demetris said...

you've written a great post i think. it makes me think of such a thing like faith. and my string opinion is that a person lives when it has faith in something. it does not matter what you believe in. but if you loose your faith you have nothing to live for.

Liras said...

Aww S! Such deep thoughts on cold days. Since you are not shallow and superficial as I am, you will not be content in only believing in yourself; putting your faith where it can squarely rest and never be squandered.

In honor of your goodness, I will increase my faith in myself at least three-fold. At least!

kold_kadavr_ flatliner said...

Precisely Y yoo
must take RCIA.
Classes R free.
Once per week.
Starting early

trustNjesus, bro.
God bless your indelible soul.

kold_kadavr_ flatliner said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
kold_kadavr_ flatliner said...

Dont wanna lose you, dear,
and if our wordz can provide
encouragement, awwwsome.
I. Love. You.
Im praying for you.

Q: what's the MOST important in our
lifelong demise, our finite existence?
A: Striving N winning Seventh-Heaven.
Aint2coolNhellfire, child.

Q: You gonna live forever?
A: Yes, depending on where.
Q: How long do our lifetimes last?
A: 1-outta-1 bites-the-dust, babe,
and if you dont yet know,
lemme show you how to wiseabove:

When our eternal soul leaves our body
and we riseabove to meet our Maker,
only four, last things remain:
death, judgement, Heaven or Hell
according to the deeds WE mortals
have done in our finite existence.
So... find-out what RCIA is and join!

PS° guess what, earthling? Im an NDE:
Google+: kold_kadavr_ flatliner
Let's be tethered2forever Upstairs.

kold_kadavr_ flatliner said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
kold_kadavr_ flatliner said...

Let's rise together on the LastDay...

kold_kadavr_ flatliner said...

Let's rise together on the LastDay...